"The sun rose, as is its wont, in the east." Is that a line from Harvard Lampoon's Bored of the Rings? Old School is the forum's resident expert on obscure pop culture references - perhaps he can elucidate from his tweedy confines at Tulane.

True to form, I start getting a bit reflective in the waning days of the program. This melancholy feeling is combined with excitement for the upcoming concert, making for an interesting emotional mix. It will be hard to part with this particular ensemble.

It's the time when I wish I could take pretty well everyone in the orchestra home with me, and just keep this magic going. We all know that it's back to the real world on Monday, save for those staying on for the International Jazz Workshop, usually known as the "Dave Douglas thing". Hugh has scheduled his annual lecture for tomorrow morning, the topic being reintegration back into the real world and ways of keeping this vibe going.

Typically I've always been last out of the building and first one back in the next day, but this time round I've been having late breakfasts. What can I say - I'm slipping. But for sure, I've closed the building most nights. Yet I still feel that I haven't done enough here. I've spent at least an hour a day blogging and checking e-mails, etc. This is the first time I brought up a laptop and I have spent a lot of time on it, some days more than practicing. I'll have to reflect on that.

Anyways, I did get up earlier than usual and was the first person through the music building's doors at 7:00am, having left just six and a half hours earlier. I took a short stroll through the woods to a nearby cliff overlooking the Bow River and watched the sun rising over the mountains, hence the purple prose at the start of this entry.

Here it is, yet another beautiful day up in Banff. Good weather seems to be just as certain as the black panties that have been hanging on a tree branch above the door to our residence since the day after I arrived. (Disclaimer: I had nothing to do with them!) It's nice to have some constants in your life.

This time round at Banff, I am one of the senior repeat attendees as well as being one of the oldest participants. More than ever before I have a sense that I am part of the tribe. I certainly don't have that huge feeling of insecurity that I did during my initial time with Maria Schneider. Also, I am much more secure in my role as being the "free player" of the group, as some people are approaching me to play with them, or pick my brains about this style of music. I know it's not everyone's bag, but there seems to be a greater acceptance of the genre on the whole. I also know that I am a much more accomplished musician that when I first came here. Even this year, I have really heard a big improvement in my sound.

This whole sense of comfort leads me to question whether or not I will do this program again. So much of the initial experience was about playing way over my head and having the guts to present a new music composition. It may be that it's time to look at some of the other programs that Banff has to offer, the Dave Douglas thing, or perhaps a group residency with ion Zoo. Maybe I need to look at programs elsewhere, but frankly, walking around this morning, looking at the majestic mountains and reflecting on the last 12 days, it's hard to think that this isn't the place to be.

Of course, a lot of it depends on whom Hugh may get as a guest artist in future years. I would come back for Maria Schneider in a heartbeat, as would anyone who has had that privelege in the past. We all said as much at the dinner table last night.

I've been giving thought to the concept of accountability, in the personal development seminar sense. Accountability is the concept that I attract that which happens to me in life. Good, bad or otherwise, I have the choice to react in a way that can enrich my life.

Under the concept of accountability, I attracted that initial phone call from Lorae to come do the session with Maria Schneider, just as much as I attracted comments at the end of the session that I took poorly at the time. In the end, after I set aside the self-defeating thoughts, I emerged a changed musician.

Since I'm still in the program here, it's too early for me to pronounce what I will eventually take from this time round, but I am starting to get curious about just what that will be.