Ever wonder why some players have saxophones that remain shiny and bright, and other guys have horns that are all dull and worn looking?
OK, all the non-sax nerds have just hit the back button on their browsers. This leaves only my fellow sax weenies, so read on.
Many of the good players I know have vintage saxes that look like shit. But these guys can play the snot out of them, so who cares? Of course I am not referring to any of those new horns with the faux-antique finish, or gold or silver plated horns. They don't count.
Long ago, I conceived of The Lacquer Theory. Simply put, the good players have put in so much time on their horns that the lacquer is vibrated off. The cruddier looking the sax, the better the player. Some guys claim it's the acidity in their skin, or some other cause, but I'm sticking with my theory. I know some guys who have acid-dipped their sax to get that antique look - that's cheating.
In the last couple of years, I've been fortunate enough to spend a bit of time with some great improvising musicians like Evan Parker and John Butcher, gleaning whatever I can. It takes a great while for me to assimilate even a bit of what I've learned from them. Lately, I feel my soprano playing is really getting there.
Today, I noticed that horn has "the cancer". Lacquer is disappearing throughout its entire length and off the keys too. A little green gunk is building up around the pearls. Sure, it's been 30 years since I bought it new, but I am discounting age as the prime factor. I'm only looking at evidence that supports my theories, not actual facts. They just get in the way - ask the Bush adminstration.
As far as I'm concerned, it's proof positive in my books.
Another concept of mine is the Perry Proximity Postulate. When I was younger, I figured that if you lurked close enough to PJ at his gigs, you would simply get better through osmosis. Woodshedding was not required. The proof for this one has been a bit more elusive.
Others in the works:
The Axe Axiom - if it's not a Selmer, it's crap
The Tequila Theorem - the more you drink, the better I sound
The Hype Hypothesis - the bigger the talk in the music store, the lamer the player
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2 comments:
I hate to disillusion you, but it's sweat and it's acidic properties, pure and simple.
As proof, I offer up the condition of the laquer on Dave Say's tenor as opposed to mine (and, I suspect, yours).
My horn has lost it's finish pretty much only in areas that come in contact with my hands, or that rub against me while I play it. Like the inside of the main body just below the left-hand pinkie stack, and the area below the thumb post where I sometimes rest my thumb while observing the brilliant improvisational efforts of my fellow geniuses. Other areas of wear are either the result of the repairman's blowtorch ( a resoldering of the low e-flat pad guard some years back, some scratches and scorches on the neck-piece from re-corking and re-threading jobs), and, more embarrassingly, an abscence of laquer on the inside front of the bell. Back in my drinking days, I used to stash beers down there to smuggle into the club in order to keep the bar tab down, and the bottlecaps scraped off the finish. I tried switching to cans, and once got a Miller Tallboy stuck down there. I got it out by popping the pull-tab and pouring the contents out into a glass, then hooking a coathanger into the tab-hole and yanking out the empty.
But I digress. Next time you see Dave, take a look at the bell of his Mark VI. It's completely deviod of laquer on the right hand side of the bell, where the engraved Selmer logo is. I asked him how it got that way and he said it was from holding onto the bell and resting the crook over his right should while waiting through endless guitar solos while playing in blues bands.
Remember, I said that I only pay attention to evidence that support my hypothesis. Accepting anything to the contrary is letting the terrorists win.
You and Dave are both real players in my books, so the slightest loss of lacquer on either of your aged horns is empirical proof of my theory. That and the fact that God is on my side.
Dave and I have actually did talk about it once before a gig. He claims to have some sort of nasty acid rain coming out of his palms - his adolescence must have been painful.
And he let me in on his big secret - the horn that he has played since high school is a Mk VII.
My first Selmer tenor was a Mk VII and was a total piece of shit. I was young and didn't know any better. Now I have a Serie III which I would rate up with any Mk VI that I have tried. And it's silver plated so my theory is null and void when directed at myself.
I don't know how a Silversonic tenor fits into my theory - wait, the Axe Axiom takes precedence. Or is it your alto that's the King?
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