Dash it all

I was channel surfing a little while ago and briefly watched the most ridiculous piece of dialogue. It was a black and white British wartime-era melodrama, with two officers having a smoke in the Officers' Mess. Before I changed the channel again, the conversation went something like this:

"You know, Nigel, before all of this mess, I was an organist and a pretty good one, I daresay. I used to play organ at the cinema, but I always wanted to be a concert organist."

The other replied, "My dear boy, there are two types of people in this world, those who play organ at the cinema, and those who play Bach."

Tarantino it wasn't.

Later on, this stilted exchange got me thinking. I have the opportunity this year to play in many different groups and situations, more than ever before, and in a slew of differing styles. I could take on a lot of composing projects. Though few of them would be particularly lucrative (not a prime motivator in my musical life), most would be rewarding from a creative perspective, and I would definitely enjoy myself. I could have a chance to play many different instruments, and learn and improve on most of them.

On the other hand, I have a voice in my head (one of many) telling me to stick to one instrument, one style, and to really get proficient in that before having the audacity to take so much on. This is eminently sensible, yet also a convenient way to cop out, because one can never be simply "good enough", given the depth and tradition of jazz. Serious practice habits can easily breed perfectionist tendencies. Perfectionism gets in the way of success, always undermining it.

Some months ago I described myself as a musical generalist, a jack of all trades, master of none. I'm currently revisiting that concept, precisely because I now have all of these varied opportunities that I have been deliberately seeking out.

Coupled with that is my desire to increase my financial stability, which may entail a dayjob change in the near future. Uncertainty of what that may bring is making me think I shouldn't take so much on at this time. In fact, I've given a lot of thought as to how many of my current projects I'd be willing to give up, and which are non-negotiable. Could I pare it down to two? I could, with a great measure of regret for the others. One? I don't want to put myself in a position where I'd have to make such a choice. None? No way.

The next few weeks will be interesting as I work through all of this, hopefully finding some clarity along the way.